Sunday, March 22 2020

beer, car seats, and april o'niel - channel 7 news



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Dear Journal,

Good morning, everyone! Happy Sunday. I hope you're feeling good today and ready to soak up the last bit of weekend before this work week. I'm up a bit earlier than usual this Sunday. The dogs seemed a little annoyed to get out of bed so soon, but with the unspoken promise of an accompanying early breakfast, they got on board and followed me downstairs so I could make coffee. After feeding them, brewing a pot of coffee, and emptying the dishwasher, we've returned to the upstairs bedroom. Ziggy is asleep in bed, and Ollie is laying beneath my desk while I quietly type. It's a nice morning.

Yesterday was a great day. We slept in as long as possible. I got Rodney out of bed and set him up by the TV. But soon after, he wandered into the kichen. "Rodney hungry," he said, opening the fridge and aimlessly scanning the shelves.

"Want to help me make a Dutch baby, dude?" I said. Rodney promptly grabbed the white step ladder from the corner and joined me at the counter. I let him stir the batter a few more times with a whisk before dumping it into the cast iron. I started the oven timer, and after pouring Rodney some cereal in a bowl, I sat down at the computer to work on some code before breakfast.

After finishing breakfast, we headed outside as a family. Marissa worked on raking up the backyard while Rodney played in his sandbox. Meanwhile, I moved our car to a sunny spot in the driveway and began studying the instruction manual for the new car seat. I removed Rodney's car seat, shook out all the crumbs, and installed it into the other side of the car. I called Rodney and Marissa over to check my work.

"So dude," I said to Rodney while showing him to the car. "I know you're pretty used to climbing in on the right side, but that's where baby Miles is gonna sit from now on, get it?" Rodney peaked his head into the car and smiled. "Oh I get it," he said.

"You know dude," I continued. "It's kind of like a promotion. Welcome to the driver side of the back seat. Keep up the great work." I offered Rodney a cordial handshake from his seat in the back. Rodney ignored my gesture, and instead put his head down by Marissa's belly.

"BABY MILES?" yelled Rodney. "UGH, GBLAGBLAGBLK NEW CAR SEAT." Marissa paused for a moment before throwing her voice in response. "Pretty cool, Rodney!" she said with a squeek.

With our morning work complete, we leashed up the dogs and went for a walk. Before locking up the house, I poured a coffee thermos for Marissa. I held up my thermos and smiled. "We were out of coffee," I said. "So I just decided to pour a beer into mine instead. Ik drink een bier terwijl wij lopen." I hit the latch on my thermos, and immediately my face was spritzed with a mist of carbonated beer, covering my glasses with tiny droplets. Marissa and Rodney laughed.

We went for a long walk around the block. There were more people outside today, trying to make the best of the nice weather while keeping their distance from each other. A car slowed beside us, and a neighbor leaned his head out the driver side window.

"TWO corgis, the toddler is walkin', and another on the way?" the friendly face yelled.

"We're a busy family!" I replied. He smiled and kept driving. "You should have messed with him and said you weren't pregnant," I said to Marissa. For how often people acknowledge she is pregnant, I wish she would say unexpected things like "no I'm not pregnant, I just get really hungry in the evenings," or "nope! Just a beer belly! What can you do?"

After returning home from our walk, Marissa took Rodney inside to make a bowl of mac 'n cheese for lunch. I continued walking to the liquor store to pick up some beer. Trixie's liquor was taking the pandemic very seriously. They had a sign posted on the door that advertised a strict limit for how many people could shop at a time. The guy at the counter sanitized the card reader before and after I made my purchase. I walked home, carrying a heavy 30 pack of PBR, switching arms as I got tired. "I can't believe this beer is twenty bucks for a thirty pack," I said heaving it into the kitchen. "This stuff is literally cheaper than water."

I joined Marissa and Rodney at the table with some reheated pizza. We ate lunch, then Rodney went down for a nap. Marissa and I hung out on the couch. She dozed off while I watched Jackass reruns.

We decided to order in for dinner. Since the quarantine began, we've managed to cook every single meal at home, and I was looking forward to a break from cleaning up the kitchen. We ordered food, and after getting Rodney out of bed, we all sat at the dining room table ready to dig in. I got a kimchi Reuben with fries, Rodney got a grilled cheese, and Marissa ordered a burger. Together, we quietly picked at our food.

"So how's that ninja turtles movie, dude?" I asked. "What are the turtles up to?"

"Yeah... TURTLES!" replied Rodney.

"I don't like the actor they got to play Kacy in this one. He's creepy." said Marissa.

"Oh yeah, does he keep hitting on...," I paused trying to remember her name. "Wendy? Who is the news girl again?"

"April," replied Marissa.

"April O'niel. Channel 7 News," said Rodney, finishing her thought. We looked at Rodney and smiled.

"Uh... what did you say dude? Can you say that again?"

"April O'niel. Channel 7 news!" repeated Rodney more loudly. Marissa and I broke into quiet laughter.

"I mean, we shouldn't be surprised," I said. "He watches a lot of ninja turtles. He's bound to know more than us."

After dinner, I washed dishes while Rodney stalked me in the kitchen with his ninja swords. Every few minutes, I'd spin around and throw my hands up ready to fight. I'd chase Rodney into the living room and tackle him on the couch. "SAY MONKEY!" I yelled, holding Rodney in a gentle headlock.

"MAMA. MAMA. I CAN'T MOVE!" called out Rodney. Marissa casually strolled into the living room to watch us wrestle.

"You have to say 'monkey', dude," said Marissa. "Those are the rules."

"I DON'T WANT," said Rodney. I released his head, and Rodney jumped up to his feet to swing his sword at me. We wrestled until bed time. As we walked him upstairs to bed, Marissa and I chanted April O'niel Channel 7 News.

Thanks for stopping by this morning. I hope you have a wonderful day.