Friday, June 3 2022

a green alien, comcast, and a new spider

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Dear Journal,

Good morning, everybody. It feels good to turn the corner into a Friday, doesn't it?

Just to set the scene here - the house is quiet. After Marissa dropped Rodney off at school, she left with Ziggy for an agility trial on the other side of town. Holding it down here at home is just myself, Miles, and a bunch of animals (minus one dog). I think I heard Miles beginning to wake up. But don't worry, he's accustomed to sitting in his crib in the mornings, so why not squeeze in a journal entry in the meantime?

That also gives me more time to drink coffee in silence. Drinking coffee - in this moment, it's my favorite thing in the world. Cheers.

Sip. Am I going crazy, or is they're a big green alien staring at me through our dining room window?


Oh right - that's our moving truck. Our third moving truck. We took a slow and steady approach to moving. One weekend at a time, one U-haul truck at a time, one interstate caravan at a time. Last night, Marissa and I packed up her studio. She tied a stack of paintings upright in the back with string. We filled in the spaces with frames, supplies, and boxes of spray paint. In truth, this load wasn't too difficult. It actually felt a lot like packing for an art show, which is routine for us by now.

I parked the U-haul so that the giant green alien graphic on the side of the truck was leering into our dining room. The sight stopped Miles in his tracks on his way up to bed. He would have started crying at the sight if we didn't calm him down.

We're spending this weekend at the house, and we're going to leave after work today. The drive is just under two hours. Still battle-hardened from driving up and down Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, and Wisconsin last weekend, two hours sounds like a cake-walk.

This weekend we'll finally have Internet at the new place. I opened an account with Comcast. It felt like I was making a deal with the devil. Comcast is kind of a slimy company. I had to walk through their online "plan builder" several times before I understood where all the extra charges come from, and they employ some dirty tricks to pad things. For example, all new plans are quoted at a much lower price, and after 2 years when this "promotion" expires the monthly rate shoots up by thirty bucks. They also hold you to a data cap, and you pay out the nose for each gigabyte if you go over. Of course for an extra monthly fee you can unlock unlimited data, but they don't let you sign up for that when you create your plan. But what am I gonna do, not use Internet? Besides, I'd do much worse things to finally get on gigabit Internet.

How about some pet news? Minnie got spayed this week. The evening she came home, still groggy from anesthesia she pitifully slinked around the house with droopy eyes and heavy feet. At least she was extra snuggly. The next morning, she was back to her energetic self, and even though the vet advised us to help her down the stairs while her stitches healed, Minnie was too fast for me in the morning.

At least she doesn't have to put up with a silly plastic cone. We bought her a tight fitting sweater that accomplishes the same thing, except it's a little more comfortable. Plus, the streetwear-esque blue camo must make her feel a little glamorous too.


Even more pet news - I bought a new spider yesterday. It's a Lasiodora parahybana, also known as the Brazilian Salmon Pink Bird-Eater. He's a little guy with an inch and a half leg span - still a few years away from coming into his full grown 8-9 inch bird eating form.

"Does it eat birds?" asked Rodney.

"No, they just call it that because it's big," I replied. I laughed at the image conjured up in Rodney's imagination hearing the term "bird-eater". Did he think we would be feeding it birds every night? "Bird eater" is more of a clout name - they eat bugs just like all the other spiders. But maybe we'll give him one bird every year on its birthday, as a treat.

My new spider sat in a small dirt crater in the center of a sealed deli cup. I placed it on the glass countertop and took out my wallet when I started to chat with the guy behind the counter. I detected he too was a fellow spider weirdo, especially when I noticed him pull up his Instagram. He politely waited for a pause in the conversation before he showed me a gallery of his spiders.

In that moment, the weirdest thing happened. Just as I handed the guy my credit card, I saw my new spider flip onto his back. "OH... oh he's literally molting like right now," said the flustered shop owner.

Here's the tricky part - it's not a good idea to move a spider while it's molting, let alone take it on a bumpy car ride. So what to do? The shop owner graciously offered to keep it there overnight while he finished up. "He'll be done in a few hours, and you can pick it up tomorrow," he said. "As long as he's still alive."

That's what I got today. If you'll excuse me, I have to go eat some apple jacks with a toddler in front of a giant green alien head. Have a good Friday, everyone.